Ever feel so lost?

Overwhelmed. Misdirected. Disoriented. Off-course. Wayward. Confused. Maladjusted. Obsessive. Intolerant. Vehement. Impetuous!

While I found direction in one area of my life I am drowning in a maelstrom of financial woes. Have you ever seemed to just awaken one day to find everything falling apart around you? It's the proverbial snowball gaining speed and size as it hastily bowls you over sucking you up into it's huge uncontrollable mass... somehow it got that bad. For weeks I've been doing nothing but struggling to keep myself from drowning in a sea of pass due notices, late fees, unauthorized charges and debits, changes made to my account that I did not initiate, pretty much just plain 'ol confusion infused with irrepressible frustration with the bank. I was counting of some things happening in my life that would circumvent this exact situation, however, life sometimes has other plans. I had no plan B, C or D. Dumb ass. I'm working on plan G right now. Wish me luck.

Despite all this turmoil, what got me here was a life changing decision that absolutely had to be made! So, I continue to pratice my back stroke...

Clarity

having direction. a fixed purpose. being settled. resolved. certain. understanding. decided. KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT.

I had this realization recently. I thought I was in a state of confusion when in fact I've known the answer all along. I just forgot that I knew what I really wanted. Knowing what you want affords you courage and resolve, it allows you to be purpose driven. Knowing what you want gives you confidence, gives you peace.

After some discussion, some comparisons were made to a similar situation - one I think closely resembles my desires. "Even the most perfect situation, fails at some point". Wise and poignant words. However, those words can be applied very broadly. I realize they do not just apply narrowly to what I desire but they apply to just about ANY situation... more specifically, to any relationship.

I tried the traditional way. It failed me horribly. So why not give the unorthodox a try?

In the meantime, I like where I am. Though, it's been a bit of a learning curve, I'm happy. I'm satisfied. I'm close to being at peace.