Changes

It's usually never easy to walk away from a 10 year relationship. The decision is made over much time and heart felt consideration. It wasn't an easy decision for me to make and it took years for me to accept the bleak truth about my situation. But, once that acceptance sunk in there was no turning back, no ignoring it. No more denial. So, action was taken and one heart in this mess was broken into pieces. I think my heart was slowly torn apart over the years so the final outcome today doesn't hurt me with as much acute pain. But, was it easy to do? Fuck no. Was it painless? Fuck no. But, it was different for me. I feel liberated, yes, but a little scared at the same time. I am getting in touch with a part of me that sort of died years ago, a part that I missed. Therefore, it is bittersweet for me. The road ahead is daunting at the same time it is arousing and although it gives me cause to pause... I will take this path fortuitously. But, just because I do not cry and visibly fall to pieces does not mean I am not hurt!